Do you need to refresh your marriage with "Yes!" Check out this list of 10 things to say yes to for a healthy marriage... She said, “Yes!”

Actually, she said, “Oh my gosh! Yes!”

Last weekend our youngest son, Lucas, proposed to his girlfriend, Abbey. While engagement excitement captures them—all of us actually, I’m still thinking about that simple word…


It’s on cakes, balloons and coffee mugs. It frames engagement parties and frequents Facebook.

It’s catchy. It’s simple. But it means so much.

I know I hardly grasped the significance of my “Yes” nearly thirty years ago. When Gary proposed to me, I couldn’t even let him finish the question before I gave him my answer, “Yes!”

I knew that I loved him. I wanted to do the rest of life with him. So of course I said yes.

I doubt I realized how often I would need to keep choosing yes in the years to come. Because it’s not a one time thing. A healthy marriage demands a lifetime of yeses. And it’s not always easy.

And like most “yeses” in life, “yes” to marriage usually includes “No” to other things.

So today, since engagement is on my mind, and it’s Valentine’s Day, I want to share a list of what that initial “Yes” includes. And for each yes, I’ve included the inherent, “No.”

Whether you recently said “Yes”, or whether your “yes” was many years ago, I hope this list will encourage you to keep saying yes to your marriage. And have the courage to say the necessary no’s.

Here are 10 Yeses and No’s…

1. Yes, I choose you! You are the first priority in my life with God at the center. And you always will be. I’ll say no to whatever compromises our relationship in the future. I’ll say no to other things or people that try to occupy first place in my heart.

2. Yes, I’ll share sexual intimacy with you. I’ll say no to intimacy with anyone else or to any habits that hurt our intimacy.

3. Yes, I’ll forgive you. I know you’re not perfect, but neither am I. I’ll always extend grace for a second chance. I’ll say no to keeping score and no to bitter resentment.

4. Yes, this is a forever commitment to you. It’s not until we get tired of each other. It’s forever. I’ll say no to changing my mind and no to breaking my promise.

5. Yes, I’ll submit to you. Because I trust we’ll submit to one another as we submit to God. I trust you to love me and choose what’s best for us. I’ll say no to a stubborn heart and prideful ways that fight for my way instead of our way.

6. Yes, I respect you. I’ll guard my heart so I always do. I’ll say no to a critical spirit and contempt in my heart.

7. Yes, I’ll change for you. Actually, I want God to change me to become more like him, and in the process, I’ll become a better person for you. I’m saying no to telling you, “That’s just the way I am.” Yes, I’ll do the hard work to become a better person for you.

8. Yes, I’ll always fight for our marriage. We’ll have hard times, but I’ll stick it out with you. I’ll say no to bailing out. No to giving up. I’ll persevere through the tough times.

9. Yes, I trust you. And I’ll give you every reason to trust me. I’ll say no to lies or deceit so our marriage is built on honest transparency. And finally,…

10. Yes, I love you! That’s what all the other yeses are about! And I’ll keep saying this yes forever after.

Was your initial “yes” a long time ago? Maybe you need to refresh your yes to your spouse. This Valentine’s Day would be the perfect chance to start saying “yes” again to marriage and no to things that hurt it.

If you just recently said yes—like Lucas and Abbey, then I pray that you have a rich lifetime of yeses ahead of you.

Whatever stage your marriage is in, may your life be a continual “yes” to each other.

It’s Valentine’s Day!

So have a happy “Oh my gosh, Yes!” kind of day!!


What are some additional yeses and no’s that you would add to the list? Share in the comments below…

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